Somehow even more useless in the Big Battle for Westeros Civilization than Samwell Tarly. For instance, nobody anticipated Robert Baratheon’s famous flu game on the Trident against the heavily favored Prince Rhaegar, and yet. Someone with the moniker of 420HotPie69 would say, “Jaime Lannister with two hands would surely pwn the shit out of Barristan Selmy’s decrepit deadass and then make short work of the Knight of Flowers!” and Martin would ruefully deal with this counterfactual sword-shipping fandom by pointing out that sometimes weird shit happens on the battlefield, butterfly-effect, dew-on-the-grass sort of shit. But one thing that stuck with me from his Livejournal was his reluctance to rank the best fighter in Westeros. People would ask him innocent questions like “Is The Winds of Winter coming out this year?” and he’d start talking about Super Bowls from before TV existed or the time the Jets traded for Tim Tebow and how much this pissed him off. I’m not sure if he still does, because I’m not sure if Livejournal exists anymore. He used to blog about these two teams on his Livejournal fairly regularly. More specifically, a Giants and Jets fanatic.
Turns out the ice zombies were all a hilarious red herring to get back to the stuff everybody liked in the first place: the humans behaving poorly to one another. It’s been all grimy apocalyptic dreams and holy purpose since this tonal shift to the Undead Army, with the White Walkers and their army of wights subsuming the show’s more conventional internecine bitchy squabbles between the dumb and noble Starks and the funny and pragmatic Lannisters-dragons, shadow babies, giants, and Faceless Men punctuated the medieval realpolitik stuff, but even so, the show’s focus remained on its characters until the Army of the Dead very much changed that.īut no worries.
And then some semi-important characters would have sex with three or four whimsical prostitutes while at the exact same moment soberly explaining just how Aegor Rivers, better known as Bittersteel, one of Aegon the Unworthy’s Great Bastards, refused to give John the Fiddler the Valyrian steel sword Blackfyre during the quickly snuffed-out Second Blackfyre Rebellion. It used to be all quips and scheming, and then occasionally some humorless Northerners would warn people about climate change. The last few seasons of Game of Thrones have been trending toward the epic grandiosity of Lord of the Rings and straying from the more sedate and crass Machiavellian tricks of its early years.
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